


a simple change of pace

by Skyuni123



Series: One-Off Media Ficlets [14]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Healing, Humor, Kevin Beckman is Thor (Marvel), References to Depression, Secret Identity, Undercover Missions, hey how do you deal with your sadness? make a bunch of new friends!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-01-13 16:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18472903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: Clint places the empty tub of what was formerly known as ice cream down on the table. “I’ll tell everyone you’ve gone off to find the Infinity Stones, my sister doesn’t get herself hospitalised by marauding science, and you get to get away from our petty human bullshit for a few months. Win, win, win.”He neglects to mention the haircut, the false identity, and the fact that ghosts are real.-Thor is Kevin. Kevin is Thor. Chaos ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

It all starts sometime in 2016.

 

Thor’s been… lonely. 

Bored. 

Vaguely worried about the Infinity Stones, but unsure where to look.

A bit mopey after his breakup with Jane. 

 

Things like that.

 

(Some Midgardians might call it ‘depression’, or ‘a funk that’s just really hanging around’ but Thor’s never been to a healer on Earth, so he just rolls with it and hopes that it doesn’t stick.)

(Which it does.)

 

Things have been quiet of late at the Avengers headquarters, so he’s just settling down in front of the television with another pint of Ben and Jerry’s Stars and Stripes (gummi stars, blueberry and raspberry stripes) when Clint clears his throat pointedly and says, “You… feeling alright, Thor?”

 

“I am well, Clint. And yourself?”

 

“Doin’ good, bud.” And there’s nothing about that sentence that sounds natural at all, but the archer just slings himself over the arm of the couch and settles down next to him. “I was just wondering… because, well, after… everything - how are you holding up?”

 

“I am fine.” That’s not actually true. 

 

“Yeah, well that’s a lie.” Clint fiddles with one of the toggles on his jacket with faux apathy. Then, he clears his throat and says, “It’s weird, isn’t it. Getting stuck in a place where the people around you can’t quite relate to you? I was in deep cover in the Ukraine for like… four years a while back, trying to break up this trafficking ring. Couldn’t talk to Tasha, couldn’t talk to anyone I knew - and like, I  _ knew  _ Ukrainian, but I didn’t  _ know  _ Ukrainian. It was cold, I was dealing with these terrible,  _ awful  _ people every single day, and I spent four years feeling totally fucking awful.” 

 

“...I presume it was a turbulent time for you, then?” Thor isn’t quite sure why Barton is going into a long-winded tale about Ukraine (he doesn’t even know where Ukraine  _ is),  _ but he’s never been one to deny some storytelling.

 

“Oh, absolutely, I was on so many knock-off antidepressants, you have no idea. Point is,” Clint steals his ice cream and takes a spoonful. He winces at how sugary it is, “After the mission was over and I got to leave, I was the happiest I’d been in  _ years.  _ There’s nothing like a change of pace, wouldn’t you say?” He continues to eat more of Thor’s ice cream.

 

Thor just gives up and hands it to him. “I do enjoy being away from work, on occasion.”

 

“Yes.” Clint says, pointedly. “Would you like to spend a significant time  _ away  _ from here, in a way that both benefits both you and me, for a few months? There will be some excitement involved.”

 

Well, Thor has never been one to say no to excitement…

 

...Though he doesn’t quite appreciate the haircut that follows.

 

The story is this. 

 

_ Clint has a younger sister, Abby, younger barely by a year. She likes science, and ghosts, and a lot of things Clint doesn’t, and she’s trying to set up some kind of- _

 

“Organisation???” Clint says, with a sigh, “I really don’t understand it. She’s got this theory that ghosts are real and can be captured using certain types of energy. I think. Look, I wouldn’t normally follow this kind of thing, but my mind’s been expanded a lot in the last ten years and if there’s aliens, why not ghosts?”

 

_ Abby doesn’t pay any attention to the news. Doesn’t know anything about the Avengers, or aliens, or Thor… _

 

“Yeah, remember when your brother invaded Earth that one time? Abby was hunting ghosts in a mansion in Minnesota all weekend and totally missed it.” Clint winces at Thor’s distressed look. “Sorry. I forgot about the whole ‘Loki’s dead, for reals this time,’ thing.” He doesn’t look too upset at the idea though.

 

_ Clint, though he doesn’t believe in ghosts, thinks that Abby could run into some trouble.  _ “She can take care of herself, at least, science-wise, but sometimes bad people need to be dealt with.”

 

_ He wants someone to keep an eye on her, and he thinks Thor could be that someone.  _ “I will be  _ so  _ thankful if you do this. My sister just forgets to care about herself sometimes. Plus, I’ll tell everyone that you’ve gone off to search for the Infinity Gems-”

 

“Stones.” Thor interrupts. “They’re stones. Not gems.” 

 

“Yeah, whatever, those things.” Clint adds, and places the empty tub of what was formerly known as ice cream down on the table. “I’ll tell everyone you’ve gone off to find the Infinity Stones, my sister doesn’t get herself hospitalised by marauding science, and you get to get away from our petty human bullshit for a few months. Win, win, win.”

 

He neglects to mention the haircut, the false identity, and the fact that ghosts are real. 

  
  


The midday New York air is cold against his neck. It’s been a long time since he’s had short hair and he does not like it. It is a travesty, but Clint had said, “Most guys these days don’t have hair quite like yours, Thor. Plus, it’s recognisable. No-one will recognise you with short hair,” so he’d reluctantly gotten it cut. 

 

“You’re Kevin Beckman.” Clint says, pulling out sheafs of paper from a folder and handing them to him. “Wannabe actor, amateur web designer, very likeable but quite distracted. Australian. Ish. Go wild! Just don’t tell her who you really are.”

 

“Australian?” The only thing Thor knows about Australia is that it has lots of snakes. He considered going there, soon after Loki’s death, to see if his brother was masquerading as one in his usual way, but he didn’t.

 

“Yeah, like I said,  _ ish. _ ” Clint says, and shoves him out of the taxi. “Go wild, don’t use your powers, and for the love of everything, don’t call Mjolnir to you. Abby would have a heart attack. Go!” 

 

He follows the smell of Chinese food across the street, wondering just what he’s gotten into. His jacket is too loose and his glasses have no lenses in this them, but he feels less glum than he has in days. 

It’s a start.


	2. Chapter 2

So, he plays it up.

Just a little.   


(Well, perhaps a little more than a little.)

 

He’s not sure if his accent is Australian, he supposes it’s an approximation of it, but the women don’t seem to care. 

 

The brunette - Erin, the one who reminds him a little too much of Jane - she’s a physicist as well and  _ everything -  _ keeps on eyeing him like she wants to eat him alive.

And yes, Thor isn’t  _ opposed  _ to a little bit of consensual fun -  back on Asgard the orgies had been expansive and fantastic and he’d always come out of them bruised and battered and completely satiated - but he’s in mourning.

Besides, he doesn’t know much about humans, but they do seem to have a lack of orgies.

 

Clint’s sister, Abby, doesn’t look much like him. They’ve got the same deadpan sense of humour, however, and he can see a resemblance in the eyes and face. She also seems to dislike him, right as soon as he walks in the door -   


\- which is essentially what Clint did as well, though he’s fairly sure that Abby’s not under… Loki’s… spell, and is just like that as a person. 

 

The third woman, Holtzmann, seems  _ insane. _

But he likes insane. 

 

He likes all three of them, actually. 

 

So he plays it up. He pretends to be an idiot, making jokes and causing trouble and pretending to be dumb, just because he can.   


It’s the best job interview he’s ever had.

(He’s only ever had one, but that’s… not the point.) 

  
  


Patty joins the Ghostbusters and sees through his cover immediately. She doesn’t say anything to the others, though, just drags him outside - her grip is  _ strong,  _ just right for a woman warrior - when the others are talking about a piece of science technology and asks, rather flatly, “What are you doing, man?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Thor lies, because he’s become rather good at that lately.   


He supposes the silvertongue runs in the family.

Even thinking about Loki hurts these days. 

 

“ _ Why  _ is a literal god lookin’ after the phones above a Chinese food shop?” Patty asks, and yes, he supposes she does have a bit of a point when she puts it like that. “You’re not- my girls, they ain’t aliens, are they? Cause I don’t wanna have to deal with that right now, thank you very much.” 

 

“No, no, no aliens here.” Thor reassures her, because he likes Patty, and he doesn’t want to add more stress into her life. He also completely ruins his cover at the same time, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because she already seems to know. Humans are too intelligent, sometimes. “I mean, except for me, but I don’t really count since I was already here. My friend, Clint - he’s Abby’s brother?” 

 

“Abby has a brother? Wait- _Hawkeye,_ guy with arrows, Clint?” Patty asks, eyes widening even more. 

 

“Yeah, him. He heard about what Abby was doing, and aliens like humans taking risks - or at least that’s what he told me - so he asked me to keep an eye on her.” 

 

“That’s nice of you.” Patty says, in a way that he’s come to recognise from humans as, ‘more suspicious than sincere’. “But why you? He couldn’t make the trip? Y’all live right down the road.”

 

“My friend Bruce is missing.” Thor says, plainly. He likes Patty, and it’s not like he’s had chance to speak to anyone about this. Patty is very easy to talk to. “Steve and Tony won’t stop arguing about boring human legal things, we’ve got people who have talents that humans shouldn’t have on the team now, and… my brother died. Clint thought I should be doing something to help people.”

 

“Oh.” Patty says. She’s quiet, for a long moment, then she grasps him by the hand, and squeezes it. “Don’t bring any of that alien shit down on my girls, eh?” 

 

“I won’t.” Thor replies, and beams at her. It’s so nice to be listened to by someone who doesn’t have other petty things on their mind. 

 

“Good.”

 

The thing is…

The thing is -

_ Ghosts are real. _

 

They had apparitions, back on Asgard. Memories of fallen warriors, spirits walking the realm in pursuit of their lost souls, thoughtfulness and sadness and loss.

He’d prayed once - just in the hope of seeing Loki’s spirit - had fallen to his knees on in the graveyard of fallen warriors and  _ hoped. _

There’d been nothing, but he’d not ever been a warrior, really.    


 

Midgardian ghosts are angry.   


They try to tear themselves from their chains, they yell and scream and fight the Ghostbusters, and they don’t want to find their way home.

It’s almost frightening, really - but Thor can’t show it. He’s powerless, he can’t call lightning up, or defend the others if they need it - all he can do is wait. 

 

Holtzmann calls him over one day when he’s busy knitting a little sweater for a dog he acquired (his dog’s name is Mike Hat - “my cat” - it’s a very human joke and Thor is quite proud of it). 

 

“You’re a literal god.” Holtzmann says, rather matter-of-factly.

 

“Uh-” Thor blinks, suddenly very confused. Is his cover blown? How’d she guessed? “What?”

 

“I mean, look at you-” She waves a hand generally in his direction. “You were made in a lab, or something - you’re beautiful. Godlike. Everyone loves you. Anyway. Use your literal god powers. How can I… uh…” She stops speaking and just… gestures in the general direction of Erin, who’s doing something fairly dangerous with a blowtorch on the other side of the room and looking over at them out of the corner of her eye. 

 

It makes no sense, and Thor studied General Human Gesturing as an elective at school. “You could tell me, in words?”

 

“How do I get her to…” Holtzmann lowers her voice and hisses, “... _ like me.” _

 

“She likes you already.” Thor replies, even more confused. He’d seen Erin and Holtzmann working closely together and they appeared to have quite the bond. 

 

Holtzmann rolls her eyes. “Bless your heart, dearest, dearest Kevin, but no, not like that. Like-” And she gestures again, this time by interlocking her fingers together, and yes, Thor gets it.

 

“ _ Oh,  _ you wish to  _ lay  _ with her.”

 

“Are all Australians this weird?” Holtzmann asks. “But, yes. How do I- you know.”

 

“Speak to her?”

 

Holtzmann snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous. Actual human conversation! What a joke. Seriously though, how do I do it, cause I’m kinda in love and Abby says I’m pining.” 

 

“Good things come out of honest conversation.” Thor says, in lieu of an answer, which is advice he’s really just made up anyway.

 

He’s no seer, and certainly not a conversationalist.

 

“You are no help.”

 

The Ghostbusters are fantastic, and he’s thoroughly enjoying his time away from the Avengers and from all their politics.

That is, until they capture the ghost of a madman and he gets possessed.

Midgard never changes.  

**Author's Note:**

> this is a shitpost but i am enjoying it
> 
> hit me up on the [ tumbs ](http://eph-em-era.tumblr.com)


End file.
